Waves

These past few weeks have been chaotic. I’ve been anchored by your support…the beautiful Backstage concert we had. Wow, just wow. Your incredible comments, memories and stories. And then more recently I had a show in my hometown where many new folks and some familiar faces were in the audience. It was just me and Iain for that one…no tracks, no drums. We can do it!

A few days before that I gave a talk to female entrepeneurs in my hometown of Forest. There was something so beautiful about being around a group of women who have put their heart and soul into businesses they’ve started, businesses they’ve taken over, businesses they co-own. This blurry picture taken by my mom:

I remember growing up in Forest, school was my haven. My music teacher Dave and his partner Karin were these shining beacons of inspiration for me. They treated me like a grown up, Mr. Williams lent me his Tascam recorder (lol), I’d record songs of questionable quality, I was in love with Sting. There i’ve said it. Like, in love with his music, not him. I was a bass-playing nerd. But I will always hold a place in my heart for my music teachers. I wrote a song about Mr. Williams called David…it was all about the love that I saw coming into his life (he began this new relationship with his partner Karin while I was his student). So to go from a confusing home life to school, where there was inspiration, support, band practise, this lovely relationship forming…it was the salvation of my teenage years.

I aired the song “David” in my recent interview with Steve Kopp on Radio Western recently. I think it still holds up: 2 hours of Emm! (The song David is around 33 min mark.)

Anyway…fast forward to giving this talk last week…one that I was actually quite terrified for…(haven’t spoken in a while publicly) and I was able to remember all I’ve done, all I can offer, all I have yet to learn.

Yesterday a friend of mine passed away. Ingrid Willemsen. Ingrid had been informed that she had a rare type of cancer only about a month ago. I had seen her briefly in July. We weren’t close friends but like many, I just adored her. And now, she’s gone. She leaves the legacy of Sunrise Freshmarkets, 3 stores out this way that have always been stocked with care and amazing fresh food. She created hundreds of recipes that will live on…but in my heart, her smile and her unapologetic energy will never leave me.

I sometimes think about how much I have apologized for. Not my fault really but isn’t it all wasted energy … all these things we worry about? Most of the time, I think so.

I think of Ingrid, leaving a lunch we had a few years back, zipping away in her sky blue convertible, not caring about anything it seemed. If only I could be a little more like Ingrid, I remember thinking.

Thank you for giving me this forum to share with you. The chaos isn’t limited to yesterday’s tragedy. There seems to be a fog of fatigue, self-protection, effort…and then the concern for the world…I know we can’t carry the weight of the world, but when it comes to my own life…I can’t help but feeling that deep under the sea…there’s this treasure chest….that I have yet to open….but I’m still kind of flailing around at the ocean surface. I let the waves move me instead of using my own strength to go deeper…

One thing is for sure. Music, and your kind words…the haven that is created between your wonderful selves and me…melodies, harmonies, shows, memories, albums, stories….now door prizes, new music, new stories, new bands maybe….I am grateful for you and grateful for all of it.

Be kind to yourselves today and always. As much as we can say we aren’t contributing to the woes of the world miles and miles away, sometimes we do in our own small, micro, divisive ways. In our homes, with a stranger, with our kids. Instead of this, we can just decide to zoom out and choose the most loving path, in all we do. It’s like taking a breath in….and then deciding to do what is for the greatest good.

I love you all.

Ingrid Willemsen July 4th, 1965 - October 23rd, 2023