We were all packed and ready to go on Monday, March 11th.

Just hours before leaving our house in St Marys for the airport, my son, Ronan with his permed crazy hair-do and sweatpants stood in front of me and said, “I don’t really want to go.” I was just dumbfounded. I stood there as silent as the break between the sustain pedal lift and all the instruments crashing in on “Empty Hole” and had literally NOTHING TO SAY. What do you do when you plan a family/work trip for months and the morning of your teenager is refusing to go??

I thought for a moment. Panicked.

Luckily, I had done some Distance Reiki with my friend Jess Damen the night before. Believe what you will about energy work, but every prediction and message from the “guides” that Jess has relayed to me has ended up being accurate, helpful and true. She doesn’t Google stuff or know stuff and con people, she receives wisdom and messages and they move through her. It’s totally crazy — I know — but Reikimasters have become guiding forces for me. Jess said the trip would go well and “Ronan will come around, he just needs a few days before he’s his old self.” She said that the travel days are unappealing for him but he would be ok. I breathed deep.

Armed with this mystical knowledge, but still in tears over the whole meltdown of having to wrangle children and pack for a major international trip, I phoned Ronan’s Dad. When you’re co-parenting it’s a roll of the dice. It already didn’t work in marriage, how can communicating work in any capacity after marriage? I was fortunate that Sean picked up when I called. He agreed to a backup plan and it was key to being able to move through the day. If Ronan wouldn’t get in the car, my ex would come and get him. Finally, after a very long shower, Ronan got in the car. We were off to Pearson Airport.

The long flight ensued. There was a fight between Ronan and Aoife around who would get to look out the window on the descent into London because they both wanted to see the city for the first time that way. Ronan won (and in the end was actually cordial to his sister and let her look out), the irony being that Britain was so foggy that morning that no one ended up seeing a damn thing upon descending.

We arrived into London around 6 am. Anticipating grave fatigue, I splurged for a Beat the Street Mercedes Van (Beat The Street - the company that carts bands like Def Leppard around) to take us to our accommodations in Hampstead. This is where experience is golden, having traveled several times over the last year and realizing that I tend to go ABSOLUTELY BONKERS when tired. I do remember being in my twenties and having boundless energy for touring and traveling. I wish that I had been a bit more discerning about my choices then, however, it is what it is. Anyway, Farrah - dressed in a long coat - whisked us away. No waiting for taxis or Ubers or anything.

Almost what it looked like at pickup. :)

A sleepy, semi-naseauting ride into Hampstead (Michael and I gave the forward-facing seats to the kids for some reason) and we eventually checked into the most stunning AirBNB.

Our host, Ramona showed us around (always kind of mixed feelings when you have to meet an AirBNB host when you’re delirious) but she was so lovely. Her home (pictured above) is a comforting mix of antiques, 80’s decor, seaside gems and the fridge was generously stocked with orange juice, eggs, bread. It was so lovely of her. “Who’s the dog?” I asked Ramona during our tour, pointing to a photo on the wall. She told me it was her old pal, who had passed away. That’s so Emm, I thought. The one thing I decide to be social about could have made us all cry. EMM GRYNER: Making people cry since 1996.

I had a brilliant day before rehearsals started with Aoife where we visited Tower of London and The Balloon Museum. There are other Balloon Museums around the world and I encourage you to visit one if you can. The staff who checked us in had no emotions whatsoever, lackadaisically checking us in while scrolling on their phones. What is this going to be? I wondered to Aoife. Well, inside were all of these marvellous installations representing wildly different human emotions. And a ball pit the size of an olympic pool. We had a blast. Maybe, I said to Aoife, the staff and the museum are their own kind of installation. Robot staff, emotional art.

Around this time in the week I learned some awesome news….

wait for it………..

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I’m GOING TO UNIVERSITY!!!!!!! YES! I have been toying with the idea of going back to school for some time and I found the program of my dreams at Miami University in Ohio. It’s an undergraduate program majoring in Psychological Science. I’ll be able to study online from Canada and while I have no aspirations to go deeper into psychology as a practitioner or counsellor, I thought it was time to nurture my passion for neuroscience, wellness, research and psychology in an official capacity.

You’re the first to know this, by the way!!! This does not mean that I’m stopping music AT ALL. Totally the opposite. My desire to dive more into creativity and joy has further fuelled my curiosity of human behaviour, addiction, psychology and neuroscience. In recent years I realized that so much of my conditioning has kept me from stepping into what I truly want to do creatively and in music. I’ve developed almost an obsession with decoding that. Though I don’t know what life looks like yet, I’m, as my friend Lisa Burchartz says, following the energetic bread crumbs and I know I’ll land somewhere meaningful.

Of course, my parents wanted to immediately announce my acceptance to Uni to the world. But there’s a little piece of me that wants to keep it private just for me, family and well, now you reading this. In many ways I feel so much of my life in performance has stemmed from what my parents wanted. They always wanted us to perform. And sure, I love it. But in a world where everyone trots everything out so boldly and visibly, I wanted to keep this just for myself. For a little while at least! After all, it really is for me.

Back to the tour diary…

Day one of rehearsals was not mine. I was guesting on the KillerStar show. KillerStar is Rob Fleming and James Sedge. They made an album and ended up, with my help admittedly, getting a lot of Bowie’s collaborators on the record. The songs are rocky and classic and they’ve managed to garner 4 and 5 star reviews in everywhere from Mojo and The Times. I loved seeing Mike Garson again and of course, my pal Mark Plati. I followed notes a lot of the time, a bit underprepared. I hit it off immediately with Ulrika Berg who was singing with me in KillerStar. We have so much in common and despite her being from Sweden, she did not know my Cardigans affiliation. It was great to have a new pal at rehearsal.

The next day it was my rehearsal and I was SOOOOO happy. Rehearsing NOT in my living room! In London! I never get to rehearse with a sound tech and Joe set all my levels and got me on in-ears. I realize I need to have these to sing well now. ANDY VICKERY (which my computer insists on capitalizing) is so incredible on guitar and I’ve never heard Mark play my songs on bass live.

At lunch I had a lightning fast lunch with my friend Owen who flew in from Dublin to see me. (So grateful). I had an English breakfast and we talked for 15 minutes about AI and 5 minutes about my acceptance to Miami University. Then it was back to work.

Michael was so ultimately brilliant on this trip. He took the kids to Buckingham Palace. He took Aoife on the London Eye while I worked.

And then on the night of the show, at the 100 Club…he came up onstage to intro the night and simply crushed it. He introduced the band, including the brilliant Gemma and Piers of Mattari. He celebrated our friend Rob and KillerStar and he introduced me in the most incredible way in front of my (our) kids. I am so proud of how Michael and I have grown in these early days of our marriage.

Don’t marry just for love, marry someone who will grow with you.

The show was great, I have a RECORDING OF IT!!! I hope to share with you eventually. I was only sad that I missed Joanne McBride who came all the way from Scotland. I have no idea how I missed you Joanne!!!

The next day it was back to Canada, a long flight and so much jet lag. I’m not sure I’ll take the kids to my next concert/work trip but I’m so glad we allowed them to see London. London was the first place I came to after graduating from college. It will always be so magical to me. It was the place that gave birth to Duran Duran, Def Leppard, Pet Shop Boys, George Michael, Queen, Iron frickin Maiden.

And then home….

This week it was back to connecting with my beautiful students, clients and artists. I have also been speaking to Zwerg’s family and arranging his album release. I can only hope I can do his album justice as he looks down on us in one of his elaborately designed costumes from the heavens.

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London: Behind The Scenes Diary