In my pursuit of rebuilding my music career, I walked down to river with Mike Ebert, inventor of the rolling litter box. This is actually how this diary is starting.

Mike Ebert is more than the inventor of the rolling litter box. But before I sashay smoothly away from that topic I will say that the rolling litter box was an invention Mike started as a teenager. It’s a way to clean a litter box without ever having to touch cat poop. Mike turned it into a million-dollar idea, and it paved the way for his very successful business Omega Paw - which makes awesome stuff for pets to play with. The cat castle (a 3D cardboard castle that you could colour) was discontinued, but I digress.

When I moved to St Marys, Mike and his partner Ray were my landlords. They rented me and my then-husband a quaint little white bungalow on the river. The has since been renovated but it was my first home here, and it had a huge bay window and I put my studio in the basement. Life seemed sweet. I knew Sean and I would have kids…but woah, I didn’t know the adventures that were ahead of me - tumultuous, blissful and everything in between. We moved out of there and bought a house finally, but every time I pass it, I feel a little happiness. We were happy there. We had friends over there. We had a taxidermies fox. Ok, I didn’t like the taxidermied fox. But the fact that I let me husband have it, in our living room, featured prominently meant that we must have been in love.

Mike and Ray have also converted and old beloved St Marys school into apartments, both preserving the old school and realizing a long-standing dream to make beautiful living spaces.

I always loved Mike - though I don’t know him well. He’s whimsical, yet serious, deep and full of vibrancy.

So - rolling litter box or not - I’ve admired the way he makes dreams come true.

Our walk, fuelled by amazing coffee courtesy of The Flour Mill, took us down to the river and we sat in the sun at a picnic table. It was like a slice of summer had returned just for us. The summer was not gone, and I didn’t have to end my song. (Yes, that’s my first summerlong joke. And my last.) I asked Mike about secrets to building a business, I asked about tangible things like business plans, strategies for growth and what his philosophies are. He withheld all of that information from me and told me that he truly believes he is supported by the universe.

I was all like, what? I came down to the river and bought a zillionaire a coffee for this?

But he kept talking, and he kept listening. I kept talking, and listening. I told him how I enjoyed coaching, helping others and I was also ready to whole-heartedly make music. I told him what I needed to have happen. The growth I wanted to see. I no longer want to be Madonna, like I did when I was 17. I don’t even want fame. I want to grow what I have. I need to know what to do.

Mike completely inspired me by shining a light on the fact that I was more focused on the lack of my dream happening than the joy of it happening. “You gotta clean up your vibration!” he said.

It was jarring. Because that’s what I do for others. I help clean up their vibrations! Could I be the hairdresser with the bad haircut? Could I be the musician with the bad stereo system? The doctor who doesn’t take care of herself. The coach with bad vibrations? No, not me.

The tears came up but because Mike isn’t a close friend, they stayed inside. I talked more to him - about the blind faith of my 20s….about a song I wrote this last April with Michael called “Loose Wig”….(how happy it makes me) …..I talked about visualization, which he remarked could be dangerous because when you visualize something you tell yourself that it’s outside of yourself. “Your power is in you” is one of my secrets of singing god dang it!

As Mike and I kept talking - I realized that the unnerving feeling I’ve felt as I have been recording my audiobook (at home, surprise surprise) - has been this. In my book, I’ve written about what I know is true, the path to healing, to wellness, the way to use and raise the voice, the clarity that the voice brings, the joy of it - but I could still put it into practice!

I said to him, “I am actually learning from my own book.” We joked that I should leave myself a review.

(Nothing short of 5 stars of course.)

The joy of it happening. I asked Mike one last question - which is….how do I combat this feeling that has swirled around me since the glory days of 1998. The feeling that my dream was not for me. The feeling that I’ve had for a while now, that I have to work really hard to stay afloat for the rest of my life. And he said, “just immerse yourself, close your eyes and feel the joy for 15 seconds. Then slowly, over time, increase that until you are finally immersing yourself, feeling the joy for 1.5 minutes”.. Then - he said “the universe will support you. Because the universe supports you in whatever you choose. So if you choose lack, the universe will support your ‘lack’. But if you choose joy….”

So, shall we do it then? Shall we clean up our vibrations? Shall we ponder our joy for a few minutes every day? I think we should.

I am going to start by sharing “Loose Wig”. I would love to know what you think — please leave a comment or drop me an email - whatever works! This song is for the next album - and this is the demo of it. This is me diving into pre-Original Leap Year Emm, before managers handed me cassettes with the Sugarcubes and told me to do stuff a certain way. This is like me at 17, in love with bass and piano and funky pop.

Backstory: This song is inspired by an article that Jon Blistein wrote about Donald Fagen passing time in the pandemic.

Bryden Baird (Feist) plays horns. No one has heard this!

Listen to Loose Wig here.

What are things that bring you joy? Do they make you sheepish to write them down? I notice that when I make my “joy list” a lot of things are hard to admit. But then I realize that it just means it’s been shaken out of me, scared out of me, and it needs to go back in.

I’ve also decided the album title is probably going to be “Business + Pleasure”. Oooh even writing that now makes me feel like I’m the Pet Shop Boys or something!!

I’ll tell you one thing - each one of you brings me so much joy. A big welcome to David and to Erin for joining this community. Keep telling me what you want to see, and how it can be better.

Sending love to all of you.,

Emm xoxox

PS. BONUS REQUEST: Would anyone like to leave a review of my book on Amazon? I’d be indebted. Let’s have a little contest. If I can get 10 reviews up on Amazon by the end of the month, each of those people will receive a special gift. If one of those reviews is left by you or encouraged to be left by you, please drop me a note to tell me so you can be one of the recipients.

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DIARY: October 12 - Joy + Album Title Reveal + Review Contest

Listen to Loose Wig here.